Fears! Doing Readings & The Work

I had a trip down memory lane these last few days as in I read through some of my favorite books which helped me find the courage to share my skills with people. I recently wrote about my nosedive into the works of Caroline Myss and this morning I read through “The Light Between Us” by Laura Lynne Jackson. This also dovetailed off of a read through of one of John Edward’s books and a recent read of one of Matt Fraser’s books all thanks to the Libby app!

It is comforting for me to read their books and especially validating to me as I can see reflections of my journey in their paths. I don’t have any friends or family members that do this type of work. I can share stories from readings and vent about various things, but they cannot fully grasp the underlying threads of what I say. That’s not their fault either. I can empathize with their strugglers and concerns regarding their unique experiences and jobs, but I would not fully understand the underlying threads of what they tell me since I don’t walk in their shoes. So! I very much enjoy when I receive the inspiration from Higher Mind to open up my favorite books and/or check out some new books from the library.

I remember reading “Anatomy of the Spirit” and reading Myss detail the enormous amount of dread she would face prior to do readings in her early years. Then I watched an interview with her yesterday discussing how much fear she had doing readings because she did not want to harm anyone which drove her to fine tune her Intuitive Instrument to develop her accuracy. I wrote in the book saying “This is me!”

The fear of doing harm to someone during a reading used to plague me. I still have some level of fear going into every reading that I do whether it is for new clients or my regulars. A fear of not doing a good job. A fear of hurting someone. A fear of looking like an absolute fool. However, I have greatly moved along in my healing journey to where I am not predominantly surrounded by those fears which is a gift by my Direct Experience.

This is why I am extremely careful with how I say what I receive. I never not share what I receive, but I will ensure that I deliver the information as compassionately as possible. With the unknown information and predictions in psychic readings, I will always emphasize the validated, confirmed information to add weight to the validity of the unknown information and predictions being true. Regarding mediumship, I want to honor my clients’ love for their loved ones in spirit by being the best that I can be which means that I just share what I receive without editing nor judging the information - delivering what I receive delicately.

Sometimes it still does feel I like I’m about to enter into my own personal gladiator’s coliseum before I join a session. It makes absolutely no sense though which is why many times our fears are exaggerated illusions of the mind. I know that my intentions are not to harm anyone, but the fear sometimes overwhelms me because I care so much about using my skills to help.

Reading some of Laura’s book today was also comforting. I read primarily when she first started to do readings. The anxiousness when a client was about to show up to her home for the reading. How there is no plan…no script…nothing to fall back on. There’s just the information received.

The anxiousness and now-lessened-fears fade right when I begin to deliver my opening speech. There’s some kind of mechanism that turns on when I begin to act on my intentions to read for a person. I guess you could just say it is a shift in my state of consciousness. I’m not sure! The reading button is pressed and I turn into a reading machine. This is why I sometimes just walk around my home and continue fidgeting at my desk for fifteen minutes or so until the reading starts. I just want to start, do my job, and then relax knowing it is completed. Also, the psychic and mediumistic energy begins to flood my psychic sensory system prior to a reading…it could be hours before the reading maybe even a day or so! I become overwhelmed by sensations and I just want to have them filter through my system and have the information fly out of my mouth.

I never have fears that information or Spirits won’t come through me when I read. My fears are more about if I can make sense of the information and if my client will understand the information. I quickly learned that the majority of what I receive will not make sense to me. Symbols are more a part of my role in a reading. I see a symbol and then I follow the thought patterns with that symbol and my interpretations. All of the “literal information” that comes through in the Sight is meant for the client to understand which then we can go down the entire Experience page and the XYZ. You can just read The Experience page. I will say that one of the best things I learned throughout my early stages in my practice was that there will be Post-Reading Validations for psychic AND mediumistic readings. This is why I do not get flustered if clients cannot validate nor understand some information since I now expect this to occur.

But! Man oh man…Group Mediumship Readings. I can’t think of anything more fearful. Public Speaking on Steroids! Going in front of a group of people with no plan! Nothing! Just literally saying everything that pops into my Mind Tool. And what is worse is that Spirit does not care if I look like an ass…I must TRUST the information. If you can imagine being in front of a group of people and them staring at you like you have 10000 heads after you say something that no one in the group can claim at the moment…you’d piss your pants!

I really try to examine these fears of mine and I concluded the root of those fears originates from my desire to do a good job, to help someone, and to be useful. I established all my safeguards, healthy boundaries, and my years of reading for people helped me learned about the reality of PSI skills and readings without the fictional, twisted depictions in all forms of media. And! When the rare occasion happens when a reading is not up to my standards after 15 minutes, well, I give my client a refund. That’s all I can do because I do not control what I receive, how I receive, or anything else.

Obviously, as I wrote about many times, the fears involving the stereotypes people have regarding psychics and mediums. The perceptions warped by con-artists and fakes. This fear doesnt get to me too often because I know myself, my integrity, and the experience I have which all mitigate those fears. Plus! My years of developing a healthy self-esteem has greatly benefited my life and my work.

Each time I do a reading, I acknowledge my fears and I charge through them like a rhinoceros. Even if I am shaking in my boots, sweating profusely, freaking out…I still do not allow my fears to control me. Reading other authentic intuitives’ books have been such a tremendous tool for me so I can find the courage to continue helping people using my skills.

Allowing my fears to win would mean that I am failing at life since we may not be able to ever escape our fears, but we can always choose to charge through them.